For you, for your children, for your future...
Q. What is a divorce coach exactly?
A divorce coach is a licensed mental health professional who acts as an objective and supportive consultant, as you navigate the heart-wrenching and expensive transition of divorce. I will help you get through the ending of your marriage and the costly divorce process, while doing as little harm as possible to yourself, your family and your net worth.
Q. Is a divorce coach the same as an attorney?
No. When there is marital property and children involved you will need a reputable family law attorney, or mediator trained in divorce, to help you dissolve the marriage. You will be converting a legal marriage contract into a legal divorce contract. While a lawyer is an important consultant, he or she may be limited in areas unrelated to the law. An attorney learns in law school to zealously represent only you, the client. As your legal representative, an attorney is paid to see your side of things, whether you are right or wrong, feeling crazy or sane, are mature or immature, or have poor judgment about a particular issue.
Most lawyers are not trained in managing emotional disturbance, child development, parenting during and after divorce, reframing relationships or managing challenging but important interpersonal communications. Some have a lot of insight and some have little, which is true in any profession.
A divorce coach, in contrast, will assist you with these additional crucial priorities and help you understand that your actions and attitudes now will help or harm you in the future. There’s a lot of life to live after divorce and you will want to manage things today in a way that you will be proud of tomorrow. This more mature although challenging focus may also reduce the costs and allow you a better nights sleep.
My goal as your coach is different. I will tell you frankly if you are not seeing an issue clearly and help you gain a more balanced perspective. I will encourage a positive direction and use my experience to teach, broaden horizons and offer options you may not have thought about.
Because divorce is so painful, most people act out of the roller coaster of emotions now and then. Fear, grief, anger, loneliness, loss and abandonment fluctuate for both people. During an upset it’s easy to misinterpret intentions, what was said and how to manage afterwards. Clarity is reduced during this time. As your divorce coach, I will help you sort out these feelings, see issues more clearly and make better decisions from a considered perspective rather than from a spontaneous and sometimes destructive reaction.
Is coaching the same as therapy?
Although I am a psychotherapist and have had training in family systems, and mediation, divorce coaching is not psychotherapy or mediation. Divorce Coaching is a solution-focused, forward-looking, strength-based program, founded on 20 years of experience working with divorcing people, that will expand your vision and options on many levels.
The way you manage your divorce today will affect the rest of your life. Going through a divorce, or the end of any long-term relationship when there are children, is complex and emotionally difficult. Without children, you are able to go your separate ways. With children, you will always be connected to some degree and the children will need their parents able to be together for important occasions.
Divorce is one of life's most painful transitions. During a time when you are mentally and emotionally devastated, decisions will be made that affect the rest of your life. Your lawyer or mediator will help you with legal and financial issues. Your divorce coach will help you with emotional ones—the well being of your children, regardless of age, and your future relationship with your ex-spouse, your children's other parent