Going through my divorce was one of the biggest challenges I have ever had to face. Having Micki on my team made the pain more bearable and gave me the tools and self-esteem needed to forge ahead. Her insight, compassion, and support allowed me to grieve quicker than expected. I am grateful for the healthy relationship with my ex today, and I owe a big part of that to Micki. —DS
Micki was referred to me by my attorney as I sought a collaborative divorce. I wish I had met her earlier in the process. Micki's counsel on how to guide my children through a heartbreaking experience was invaluable. Moreover, her impact on my understanding of myself was immeasurable. As I emerged from the divorce, I learned I could make the choice to be a strong, independent, and happy woman. I count meeting Micki McWade as one of my most valued gifts. —KP
Micki McWade coached me through a tumultuous and painful divorce. Micki spoke with professionalism, compassion, optimism, and a deep faith in me and my future. Her deep knowledge of the divorce process and the stages my ex and I would pass through were always right on. Micki would repeatedly tell me that I would "see the light at the end of the tunnel" as well as have many "aha" moments after the divorce was final and I gained perspective. Both came to be, along with a sense of empowerment, self-knowledge, and self-trust. Micki is an expert who knows the wreckage and pain of divorce and skillfully helps navigate the legalities, the shaky sense of self. —IG
Reflecting on the collaborative process, I have two observations. One, the use of a divorce coach was without question the smartest decision I made. Two, hiring Micki was the next best decision. She worked in a consistently creative and collaborative way to problem solve and help guide the process to a resolution. All the while keeping the focus on the welfare of the children. Not only did it produce a beneficial outcome, but it gave me a significant amount of leverage to know I was dealing with a professional that would quickly give me options and paths to solutions. —KL
Having Micki as an emotional support through my divorce was a tremendous help to me. Her compassion, along with her honesty and sincerity, helped me get through a very difficult time. She took the time to learn who I was and what was important to me and made sure that I felt protected every step of the process. —JR
Micki was a huge support during a difficult divorce and after as I rebuilt my life with my kids. Her ability to draw on her own personal experiences, inspire hope for the future in dark times, and suggest practical ways to survive and grow were invaluable to me. I feel very grateful to have had her by my side. —JB
I can easily say that Micki has demonstrated a high level of expertise and, as always, continues to offer a calm and steady hand when helping me navigate through my many issues. Micki's style is open and inviting to questions and she is not above a good (and strong) discussion regarding all of the topics that one encounters. I consider myself fortunate that she has chosen her profession and that I have met her. —KD
Just want to thank you for helping with the divorce and helping to ease the pain and troubles of going through a divorce and keeping things on track. Thanks again. —DL
I wanted to thank you for sharing your advice at last night's support meeting in Ridgewood. I went with a friend who is still in the process to support her. Although I am now divorced and doing OK, I greatly benefitted from your insights. —Susan
You keep restoring my faith in the Collaborative process. I will tell you, you are way underpaid relative to my lawyer...not being mean at all...just stating a fact based on relative contribution. —LP
During a divorce, you will be asked to make critical long-term decisions when you are fearful, upset, angry, and in an unfamiliar situation. The old roles and rules no longer apply, yet you are still connected as a family. How does it work? How do you make the transition to living and co-parenting separately?
You know your children better than anyone, but divorce brings unexpected questions. Children don't have the same view of divorce as their parents do. Most moms and dads benefit by having divorce-related parenting information, and children do better when parents know better.
As your divorce coach, I will help you address these questions. You will have access to a professional with twenty years of experience in divorce work to guide you. In addition, I will assist you with some or all of the following concerns, depending on your needs:
Things to think about…
A divorce coach is a licensed mental health professional who acts as an objective and supportive consultant as you navigate the heart-wrenching and expensive divorce transition. I will help you get through the ending of your marriage and the costly divorce process while doing as little harm as possible to yourself, your family, and your net worth.
No. When marital property and children are involved, you will need a reputable family law attorney or mediator trained in divorce to help you dissolve the marriage. You will be converting a legal marriage contract into a legal divorce contract. While a lawyer is an important consultant, they may be limited in areas unrelated to the law. An attorney learns in law school to zealously represent only you, the client. As your legal representative, an attorney is paid to see your side of things, whether you are right or wrong, feeling crazy or sane, are mature or immature, or have poor judgment about a particular issue.
Most lawyers are not trained in managing emotional disturbance, child development, parenting during and after divorce, reframing relationships, or managing challenging but important interpersonal communications. As a result, some have a lot of insight, and some have little, which is true in any profession.
A divorce coach, in contrast, will assist you with these other crucial priorities and help you understand that your actions and attitudes now will help or harm you in the future. There’s a lot of life to live after divorce, and you will want to manage things today in a way that you will be proud of tomorrow. It is more mature, although the challenging focus may also reduce the costs and allow you a better night's sleep.
My goal as your coach is different. I will tell you frankly if you are not seeing an issue clearly and help you gain a more balanced perspective. I will encourage a positive direction and use my experience to teach, broaden horizons, and offer options you may not have thought about.
Because divorce is so painful, most people act out of the roller coaster of emotions now and then. Fear, grief, anger, loneliness, loss, and abandonment fluctuate for both people. During an upset, it’s easy to misinterpret intentions, what was said and how to manage afterward. Clarity is reduced during this time. As your divorce coach, I will help you sort out these feelings, see issues more clearly, and make better decisions from a considered perspective rather than a spontaneous and sometimes destructive reaction.
Although I am a psychotherapist and have had training in family systems and mediation, divorce coaching is not psychotherapy or mediation. Instead, divorce Coaching is a solution-focused, forward-looking, strength-based program founded on 20 years of experience working with divorcing people that will expand your vision and options on many levels.
The way you manage your divorce today will affect the rest of your life. Going through a divorce or ending any long-term relationship with children is complex and emotionally challenging. Without children, you can go your separate ways. However, with children, you will always be connected to some degree, and the children will need their parents able to be together for important occasions.
Divorce is one of life's most painful transitions. When you are mentally and emotionally devastated, decisions will be made that affect the rest of your life. Your lawyer or mediator will help you with legal and financial issues. Your divorce coach will help you with emotional ones—the well-being of your children, regardless of age, and your future relationship with your ex-spouse, your children's other parent.